From TikTok Burnout to Zine Freedom
Since OPSTAND started, I have noticed zines everywhere…cute little zines held in the hands of excited people, sharing their valuable nuggets of pocket-sized information with the world. And it makes me smile.
People are hastily sharing them far and wide. It is unreal to witness. I’ve seen prominent online creators shift their platforms to zines and newsletters. Individuals and small businesses are packing up and moving on from social media with rapid fervor, which seems to be a revolutionary act of defiance against billionaire corporations. You know, the ones who harvest our art for the AI overlords.
My addiction to the endless scrolling on feeds and FYP’s has ebbed over the last year. As a small business owner, I made TikTok and Instagram my entire life. If I weren’t working on the back-end of my business, I would constantly worry about what to post, what kind of content to share, and how I was perceived online.
Slowly, why I became a doula faded into noise. My principles and values of self-care and staying grounded made way for crippling anxiety. I started comparing myself to others online, whether or not I was making aesthetically pleasing posts that would garner attention and likes, and not why I wanted to be a postpartum doula in the first place—to help people.
Burnout soon crushed me like a rock falling off a 50-foot cliff, which was the perfect excuse for me to scroll away my days on social media. I was constantly balancing an image on social media while working full-time and trying to support myself and my kid. Something had to give, or I was going to explode.
There is an excitement to zine creation. Holding a pocket-sized book of lovingly crafted information feels deliciously subversive.
I saw a video about zine creation on TikTok and sent it to my partner. She adored it and started creating zines with an ADHD fixation zeal. It was wonderful to witness her make these adorable, palm-sized booklets about grocery lists and building community. I began tinkering with some ideas and created one about creating a tenant’s union in my city. I started passing them out to my neighbors, which led to us making a group chat on Signal. Soon, a small coalition of tenants in my building who want better accommodations and cheaper rent was born. Experiencing the effect of passing information hand-to-hand with others was a feeling akin to pride. There is an excitement to zine creation. Holding a pocket-sized book of lovingly crafted information feels deliciously subversive.
I released my existential grip on scrolling TikTok and took my partner’s advice to take a long break. Without hesitation and a deep breath, I deleted the app off my phone (for about the 15th time) and vowed to set it aside for good. After the TikTok ban, I couldn’t re-download it anyway, and have avoided it since its return to the App Store. As an aside, I will admit that I use Little Red Book or Xiaohongshu, or the Chinese equivalent of TikTok. It is much less rage-inducing, but pleasantly calm, especially the home tour videos. But I digress.
Truly allowing my brain to rest from endless hours of scrolling was like a magic, calming elixir being poured into me. I felt renewed and refreshed after two weeks, and much less anxious. I wasn’t buzzing from the rage-bait being shoved in my face and making me doubt my values. It was the right decision. Granted, I still have Instagram, but that’s another story.
All in all, stepping away from this highly addictive platform was the first step in getting honest. I realized that I needed time to sit with myself, quit my business, and heal from the grip of capitalism. Now, I’m not saying that everyone should do this. I realize it simply cannot happen for folks who have to work full-time or don’t have a support system. We all have to start from where we are, in our own time.
Zines becoming more popular gives me hope– Hope that there is a way to share with others besides the endless 20-second videos that cut down our attention spans. Maybe there is a more grounded way for us to be in touch.
I’m willing to try anything at this point.
